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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?